Q: How do we protect the next generation from blowing our money?

A: Stop right there. Whether you have created or inherited the wealth, the language of the question reeks of a power, control and mistrust dynamic.

Many families either hang on to their wealth or setup structures to prevent their children from “blowing it” (which is often controlling from the grave). Yes, it’s awkward having discussions about estate planning and family wealth, and who wants to talk about their own death?

A friend once said: “Procrastination is caused by fear. Don’t try to ‘learn’ how to stop procrastinating, find out what you’re really afraid of“. It might be fear of death, fear of losing control, fear that children will not do what you expect of them, fear that divorce might lead to a loss of the wealth, or something else (or all of the above). Understanding those fears is an important barrier to overcome.

Successful families have had a willingness to be open with each other about the wealth that they’ve created, and not wait until death to leave everything to their heirs. Legacy is about passing on values and life skills to the next generation. If that is done well, the money (while it may be significant) becomes secondary.

Consider This: What are you waiting for? What are you afraid of?

Original articles: https://naples.floridaweekly.com/articles/tips-to-prevent-your-kids-from-squandering-their-inheritance/, http://www.williamsonherald.com/features/business/commentary-consider-training-your-family-to-handle-inheritance-properly/article_1b04fd32-66ad-11eb-bdef-a3dab823138b.html, https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-02-17/how-to-talk-to-your-family-about-money-inheritance-and-wealth-to-avoid-fights, https://www.kiplinger.com/retirement/estate-planning/601269/how-do-we-protect-the-next-generation-from-blowing-our-money, https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/pensions/article-8494985/Parents-hoarding-wealth-avoid-children-losing-divorce.html

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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Q: How do we tell the kids about our family wealth?

A: First and possibly most important point: they already know. By the lifestyle you lead and the people you mix with, your children have already made assumptions about the family wealth. They will also have garnished information on this topic from friends and from public sources. That means in terms of controlling the conversation, you are already well behind, so be aware of what you can and can’t control when it comes to talking about wealth. That also means it’s never too early to be aware of the messages you are sending to kids – both implicit and explicit.

The way to approach talking to kids is to lay a strong foundation. Wealth, in and of itself, is not a foundation. It’s not a goal; it’s the means to a goal. The foundation is around the values and beliefs about wealth: what does it mean to be wealthy? what can money buy and what can’t it buy? what responsibilities come with wealth? what are the family values that transcend wealth?

These are deep and difficult questions. Before attempting to talk about them with kids, ensure you have some answers to them for yourself. That can be a process in and of itself. It might be helpful to have some of these discussions facilitated by an external advisor to ensure that you are well prepared, and that they stay on track.

When to actually sit down and talk about it? Milestones are useful: when kids complete school, get married, or themselves have kids. Always be prepared to answer the question “why are we talking about this now?”

Consider This: In what ways does your family talk (or not talk) about wealth? How did you find out about your family’s wealth (I found out when I was teased in school)? With that in mind, how would you like your kids to find out?

Original articles: https://www.wealthprofessional.ca/news/opinion/top-concerns-of-family-office-clients-wealth-disclosure-to-children/362291, https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/wealth/plan/how-to-involve-the-full-family-in-money-decisions-10-things-you-should-do/articleshow/87390847.cms, https://www.globalbankingandfinance.com/its-time-to-talk-intergenerational-wealth-planning/, https://www.barrons.com/articles/how-to-talk-to-your-adult-children-about-your-finances-and-why-its-important-51631912873, https://www.forbes.com/sites/dennisjaffe/2019/05/29/what-do-we-tell-the-children-intergenerational-talks-about-the-family-business-and-wealth/#2ee4136f78e0

[Republished with permission]

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Many families struggle with the ‘why’ of their wealth. Defining a philanthropic strategy is a great way for a family to articulate a purpose for their wealth. However, only 20% of families have a formal process for doing so.

At the start of COVID, there was concern that financial pressure on families would lead to a reduction in philanthropy. But in a recent survey, 43% of respondents said that the pandemic had not altered the way their family thinks about or acts when it comes to contributing to the community and wider society. The pandemic has also been effective in turning many families’ attention to the inequalities closer to home, which has led to an uptick in local giving initiatives.

The rising generation of family business leaders have been the driving force behind families increasingly integrating philanthropy into their business practices. Families are also using philanthropy to engage and educate their rising generation in the family business, and starting to think in a more holistic and cohesive way.

Philanthropy is a great entry point for young children about wealth – according to some it can start as soon as the child says ‘mine’ for the first time. Some experts encourage families to structure a three-part allowance for children: spending, saving, and giving. 

But philanthropy is not a panacea that will lead to fighting family branches uniting around a common theme and singing kumbaya. Conflicts between family members or branches can actually be aggravated through highly emotional discussions around giving. Tread carefully, and first build a foundation around shared values.

Consider This: Is family giving a source of conflict in your family? or something that brings family members together? Do you give with a strategy or is it more scattergun? Are you inculcating the giving culture in your family into younger family members? 

Further reading: https://mg.co.za/opinion/2021-03-09-few-wealthy-families-employ-a-philanthropic-strategy/, 
https://www.campdenfb.com/article/next-generation-takes-philanthropy-heart-family-business, 
https://www.wealthbriefingasia.com/article.php?id=189213#.X7NUQ3AzaUk, 
https://mibiz.com/sections/small-business/experts-see-short-long-term-shifts-with-family-business-philanthropy, 
https://ssir.org/podcasts/entry/giving_across_generations_maximizing_impact_through_family_philanthropy#

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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[REPLAY] If you couldn’t bear to watch Megan Markle bare her soul to Oprah (or if you couldn’t look away from it, and from the endless commentary that followed), here are two practical things you can actually take from the latest episode of this saga:

1. There are serious challenges to growing up in a wealthy family with a public profile. The weight of expectations is heavy, and finding identity and meaning can be difficult. Marrying into such a family has similar but slightly different challenges.

One of the hardest issues is: who can one talk to about this? Who can genuinely understand the experience, show empathy, and be a helpful sounding board? I don’t think this can come from a televised interview and the opinions of the social media masses. As my good friend says: “the poor want to be rich, and the rich want to be happy”. People without wealth or fame see them as a panacea that will solve all their problems. People with them understand that they come with their own problems.

However … 2. There is an intergenerational narrative here that has struck a chord with some younger people. A stodgy old institution deeply rooted in colonialism and vestiges of racist culture being exposed publicly (by a whistleblower) and forced by external pressure to change and adapt to the times. That is a similar script to the #MeToo movement and other such exposures of established cultures.

This is not the forum to discuss how a royal family stays relevant in a changing world. However, this same narrative plays out in many families, where the rising generation challenges established cultures. Those families need to build their own intergenerational bridges, and work out how to adapt and remain relevant to their own emerging stakeholders, both born and married in..

Consider This: Do the members of your family have a support network that provides empathy and a safe space to vent? Are they comfortable with their “privilege” and able to see both the positives and negatives? Is your family able to openly discuss and challenge family cultural norms?

Original articles & further reading: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/meghan-millennial-hero/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-brain-work/201203/has-coddling-entire-generation-children-set-them-fo, https://www.npr.org/2016/09/13/493615864/when-it-comes-to-our-politics-family-matters, https://www.nestegg.com.au/retirement/11590-intergenerational-imbalance-the-central-problem-of-our-time, https://www.thenational.ae/opinion/comment/everyone-suffers-when-younger-and-older-people-don-t-mix-1.811571

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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When taking young children for a long drive in the car, we would regularly hear them ask “are we there yet?” Children quickly become bored and impatient, and don’t always have a sense of time (especially if they are too young to wear a watch).

In families, rising generation family members are wondering “are we ready yet?” to take a position of responsibility or leadership within the family enterprise. They have a very keen sense of the passage of time. The family may or may not have the forum where that question can be asked, and even if they do, it may not result in a clear answer. While they may even have something of a succession plan, the incumbents might continue to stall, often with the excuse that “the kids are not quite ready”.

First question to ask is: why is this happening? Most likely, it’s coming from a place of fear on the part of the incumbent generation. Fear of a future when the the family enterprise is no longer a big part of their lives (what will replace it?), and general fear of the unknown. Families need a safe space to discuss these fears, both individually and collectively. Mentors, confidantes and independent advisors can be very helpful here.

So when your children ask “are we ready yet?”, you really need to ask yourself “am I ready yet?”

Consider This: What discussions has your family had about succession? How broad are these discussions – have they allowed the voices of the incumbent generation, the rising generation, and other stakeholders? Are family members able to say what they really think?

Original articles: https://www.campdenfb.com/article/next-gen-report-discovers-generational-disconnect-succession-readiness, https://www.forbes.com/sites/dennisjaffe/2022/12/13/older-and-younger-generations-are-colliding-as-family-enterprises-face-new-realities/?sh=179150328b2b, https://www.barrons.com/advisor/articles/the-ultrawealthy-need-to-hand-off-to-the-next-generation-dont-ignore-family-dynamics-says-this-advisory-51663358401?tesla=y, https://www.campdenfb.com/article/re-engaging-next-generation, https://hbr.org/2020/01/does-your-family-business-have-a-succession-plan, https://www.dtnpf.com/agriculture/web/ag/columns/farm-family-business/article/2019/11/11/succession-second-mountain, http://www.campdenfb.com/article/why-blocking-next-gen-succession-gulf-zero-sum-game, https://www.manilatimes.net/the-curse-of-failed-successions/505687/

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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Q. My child (age 20) has no interest in joining the family business. What can I do?

A. Very sorry to hear that; unfortunately, your options at this stage in your child’s life are far more limited. Any motivation you might provide for them to join is likely to be extrinsic and therefore may not be enduring. I’m going to defer on this question and discuss when to start preparing successors.

By the time they are in their late teens, your children will have some very entrenched views about the family business, which will be gleaned from years of observing its impact on you and the family at large. What you think might be motivations to join (job security, being an ‘insider’ with respect to the family wealth) might actually translate as negatives for your child (workaholism, working under the scrutiny of judgmental family members). While there are financial benefits of having a family business, these may be offset by the lifestyle burden associated with being an owner-operator, or the constant talk about the business around the kitchen table.

What can make a big difference in their perception is the family business narrative within the family. Family businesses are about much more than just the financial. They have elements that other business do not have: they can embody the values of the family, and they can have socioemotional wealth – non-financial benefits such as the sense of identity, the family’s contribution to the economic and social benefit of community, and the power and influence that comes with all that.

Family businesses with more socioemotional wealth are more likely going to stay in the family from one generation to the next. Preparing successors starts with nurturing that from a very young age.

Consider This: What are the pros and cons of being part of your family business? How are these perceived differently across different generations of your family?

Further reading: https://www.forbes.com/sites/dennisjaffe/2022/09/01/values-define-a-family-business-but-who-defines-the-values/?sh=6a26f1d4813e, https://www.thomasnet.com/insights/family-businesses-rarely-transfer-to-the-next-generation-here-s-why-it-matters/, https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/383633, https://www.philstar.com/business/2021/06/27/2108306/family-business-most-valuable-family-asset, https://www.campdenfb.com/article/what-impact-family-business-family-office, https://www.financeasia.com/article/planting-the-seeds-of-success-creating-an-enduring-legacy/454702, https://lighthouse.mq.edu.au/article/april-2019/why-would-anyone-go-into-the-family-business, https://www.crainsdetroit.com/special-report/beyond-profits-family-businesses-can-create-socioemotional-wealth, https://www.smartcompany.com.au/partner-content/articles/family-business-and-the-secrets-of-successful-succession/, https://www.biztimes.com/2019/industries/human-resources-management/what-happens-when-theres-no-one-to-take-over-the-family-business/, https://www.scmp.com/business/china-business/article/2172343/why-mainland-chinese-children-are-starting-turn-their-backs

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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Q: We have three non-family board members in their 70s on our family board. How should we handle moving them on?

A: The composition of the family board is a careful balance between family members & independent voices, and maintaining regular turnover is very important. Often, families will establish a board with some family members, the family lawyer & accountant, and perhaps some other trusted advisors. But without due attention to the board composition, the group can remain static for a period of time, until they suddenly realise it’s time to bring in some fresh people and energy. What is required is a board succession strategy.

This involves analysing the mix of skills, ages, tenures and backgrounds that the board needs now and in the next few years (bearing in mind any anticipated major events the family expects to be dealing with during that period). That should be compared with the current composition, which can help identify any gaps. Open discussions with each board member individually as well as collectively are essential so everyone understands their role on the board, and how long they would like to continue there. People generally find it easy to join boards and committees, but hard to leave them.

While in the corporate and non-profit worlds, a common limit to board tenure is 6-10 years, families are different and terms can and should be longer. Family and ‘corporate’ memory are more important on family boards, and provide essential value and context, especially in times of crisis. That said, a board stacked with a bloc that has been there for 20+ years can be a barrier to necessary strategic renewal.

Usually, board composition falls to the chair. But in family boards, the chair may not have those skills, and it can therefore be helpful to bring in a specialist to assist with a regular review process.

Consider This: Do you track board tenure and skills for your family boards? Have you ever openly discussed board member’s plans to leave the board?

Further reading: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/05/29/the-second-commandment-of-family-business-succession-create-a-board/#594c014529ea, https://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/article/family-businesses-adapt-next-generation, https://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/news/2019/07/18/being-fair-but-not-equal-divvying-family-business.html, https://www.forbes.com/sites/matthewerskine/2020/06/29/succession-planning-and-the-professional-management-of-family-owned-companies/#1e19236e4272

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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The Greek philosopher Plutarch asked: “People, where are you going? Doing everything to gain wealth, but not caring about your children, who will inherit it?”

If the rising generation is supposed to take the responsibility of managing the family wealth, there should be enough time for them to learn and prepare. To avoid raising a bunch of “trust-fund kids”, the family needs to define clearly what they expect and invest time and resources to help ensure that outcome.

This is a double-edged sword: if communicated too early this may set too much expectation. Common thinking is that age 25 to 30 years is about the right age bracket for rising gens to learn about family wealth, and receive education and training about how to effectively manage and grow it.

Rising gen family members should be able to:

* Develop a clear vision of themselves and their personal goals, as well as the skills to successfully communicate them

* Spend the time to understand the family and business’s legacy and values

* Form a healthy and individuated identity alongside the family identity and long-term family relationships

Non-traditional educational resources are as necessary as they are helpful and worth the commitment they require.

There are excellent programs around that help young inheritors find purpose, meaning and joy as they navigate the complexities and opportunities of wealth. The goal is for them to gain a positive and empowered view of their role in relation to the family wealth. Rather than seeing themselves as heirs and consumers, they can become stewards and active partners.

Consider This: Does your family have/use any programs (formal or informal) for educating the rising generation? Can you answer the question “are we rich”? Have you had family discussions (formal or informal) about the what wealth means to different family members?

Original articles: https://www.dailyadvent.com/news/f9f84f5b7a4e8bef93a144d6864e89ff-Our-Childrens-Heritage-Power-Health-or-Family-Education, https://entrepreneurship.babson.edu/5-things-joining-family-business/, https://www.businessdailyafrica.com/lifestyle/pfinance/Three-pillars-that-hold-family-wealth/4258410-5623128-12kv2o5/index.html, http://www.campdenfb.com/article/when-should-next-gens-learn-about-family-wealth-and-responsibility, https://www.forbes.com/sites/dennisjaffe/2020/04/15/how-wealthy-families-develop-new-family-leaders-a-program-that-empowers-next-generation-stewards/#2baf14726095, https://www.thenational.ae/business/money/how-wealthy-parents-can-teach-their-children-about-money-1.972725

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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Family business conflict is often over long-standing concerns relating to roles and contributions to the company as well as family issues like rivalry and jealousy, and can simmer just below the surface for decades. Nothing can undermine a successful family business faster than an unresolved conflict among its owners.

One thing that distinguishes conflict in family businesses is that the owners make the rules and therefore can also break them.

Family squabbles are usually highly subjective, irrational and overly emotional. It is difficult to be emotionally detached when family members are on the opposite side of a dispute.

Because for most people, conflict is uncomfortable, families have a tendency to sweep them under the carpet rather than confront. Looming large is the rich history of other family arguments tearing successful businesses to pieces.

However, too little conflict can have an equally destructive impact. When the disagreement is too cold, there is quiet seething and avoidance rather than addressing the issues head on. Family members stick to light conversations and ignore the elephant in the room. They do not have the ability to maintain healthy debate and discussion over important issues.

What to do?

* Having more intimate financial discussions can actually bring your family closer

* Encourage family members to share their expectations and perspectives so that they have a collective understanding regarding the intergenerational transitions

* Clearly define management responsibility as separate and distinct from the ownership structure of the company.

* Put policies in place before they become personal issues.

Consider This: Thinking about your own family … What are the simmering issues that are never discussed? What is the reaction when they are raised (if they are raised)? How do these elephants in the room impact the ability of the business to move forward and grow, and impact family relationships?

Original articles: https://www.campdenfb.com/article/finding-goldilocks-zone-conflict-family-business, https://www.cnbc.com/2020/11/13/how-to-navigate-uncomfortable-money-matters-with-your-family.html, https://www.denverpost.com/2020/11/22/gary-miller-when-should-you-fire-your-kid-from-the-family-business/, https://www.ftadviser.com/pensions/2020/12/10/how-to-manage-conflict-over-asset-distribution/, https://finance.yahoo.com/news/intergenerational-conflict-is-getting-worse-deutsche-bank-analysts-warn-200542605.html, https://www.jdsupra.com/legalnews/ten-tips-for-avoiding-litigation-tip-2-47096/, https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2020/02/19/when-youre-in-business-with-family-three-critical-considerations/#4b88c86e24d1

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession 

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A successful wealth transition means the family stays intact and they maintain control of the assets. Ideally, you’d like both. Some families can only achieve one, and some end up with neither.

People often setup their estate plan so that it will avoid tax and preserve wealth, but they’re really not paying attention to the impact of their plan on the next generation. The biggest risk to their assets is not the market or the business or even the competence of the people they have supporting them. It’s actually the people sitting around the dinner table. If they can’t function as a family, then it may end up losing both the family relationships and the family wealth.

Give with a warm heart or a cold hand? It’s a parent’s prerogative on how they plan to spend and gift their wealth. However, with people living longer and a lack of planning around proper wealth transfer, many people are receiving their inheritance at the wrong time in their life. One benefit to beginning the gifting process early is being alive to see how your children benefit. You can watch and support/advise (you may want to ‘advise’, but your children may want and need your ‘support’) them on taking risks, making key purchases and enriching their lives 

Poor communication is the cause of most failed succession plans. Despite death being one of the few certainties in life, it’s amazing how difficult some people find it to talk about it. Being transparent and open about money with your family and the responsibilities it conveys can be a valuable education piece for your children.

Families don’t just inherit wealth, they inherit the same patterns. It’s also important to be aware of the patterns (positive and negative), and whether they are helping or hindering family members.

Consider This: Is your wealth transition plan ‘just’ an estate plan? What is more important (if you could only have one): being a family or a group of co-owners? How much do you ‘invest’ (with a long term outlook) in each of those?

Original articles: https://www.fool.com/investing/2020/08/21/how-you-can-ensure-next-gen-is-ready-for-wealth-tr/, https://www.wealthprofessional.ca/news/industry-news/what-do-the-wealthy-worry-about/333641, https://www.bloombergquint.com/gadfly/parents-shouldn-t-wait-to-pass-down-wealth-to-children, https://cyprus-mail.com/2020/10/04/perils-of-wealth-transfer-to-children/, https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesfinancecouncil/2020/10/30/dont-overlook-these-two-pieces-of-your-wealth-transfer-strategy/?sh=4d49333c397f, https://www.moneymarketing.co.uk/opinion/we-must-get-comfortable-talking-about-death/, https://www.financialexpress.com/money/succession-planning-for-family-business-patriarchs-must-transform-from-leaders-to-mentors/2114781/

[reprinted with permission] full article repost

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